What a year or at least end of the year!

I haven't written for quite some time, I don't know why... just haven't. I guess when I think about it there was a lot on my mind but none that I wanted to share with people. My kids are great, healthy and happy, I couldn't be more blessed. My hubby is doing great at his job, happy and with plans for himself, everything to look foreword to, until New Years Eve 2011. He received a call from his sister that he had to get off work and come share with me.
His parents had been found murdered in their home, it is still difficult to write that, heartbreaking really. We had just been there, spending the night. I left the kids with family and we immediately drove the longest drive I've ever driven. We were numb all the way down and not speaking until my hubby lost it thinking of the pain and fear his parents experienced in their last minutes on earth. We don't think it was as quick and painless and one would hope. Too many signs to indicate otherwise.
Then we spent the longest night of my life praying and getting in touch with family and friends to inform them of the tragedy. The worst was trying to get in touch with his sister in Canada, we were finally able to reach her over Skype. She was able to board a plane within hours and come back home. We held two funerals and both churches were packed to the stage. Two caskets was heartbreaking.
The new fear that has opened itself in my own mind is strong. I am trying to control it but at times it is too much. But the sun always comes up, and we always have a new day with responsibilities and things to take care of. The thing that gives me the most Hope and Comfort is the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation, knowing that we will see them again, and that they are at this moment in the care of our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ, and with their loved ones that have passed on.
I know this is bland considering the topic, but I don't really know what to say. We are heartbroken, truly. We are just trying to get through this everyday and cling to what we know to be true. We have felt so many prayers and love from people near and far. I have gained an all new appreciation and testimony of prayer. It buoys people up in their darkest hours I have felt it many times in the last weeks and I am thankful to those who offer prayers for others. I am also thankful for the people who have offered their time and energy in our home. My Christmas tree would still be up if it weren't for dear friends coming to our rescue that first couple of days. For food brought to my house, to words of encouragement, just knowing that people were thinking of us.
My hubby has a bit of a hard time with so many people offering their condolences, he thinks that if they didn't know his parents that they shouldn't be sad. But I tell him that people are upset for anyone they know who is going through a terrible tragedy such as this and that it has shaken people's comfort level. These sweet people were victimized in their most comfortable and safest place. It makes everyone think more about what they do and where they are.
Please hug and kiss your loved ones, let them know what they mean to you and resolve your differences with those you might be having problems with. Life is too short and there are no indicators of death. Thank Heavenly Father each night as you lie down for the blessings and even the hardships, pray for patience and understanding, love all that you can, don't have regrets. I will work on these things too, I'm not good at any of them, but at least I can see more of what I am missing.